Garage Sale

This past weekend we decided to have a Garage Sale at our house. It's always fun to get up at 6am on a Saturday to have people try to barter with you about the price of a broken dvd player.

Old shoes, some weird lamps, It was nothing but crap. But sometimes it's hard to let go of stuff. I got a bit sentimental watching a Mexican guy walk off with my old jeans, knowing that they will soon become a bathing suit.

Invitation only ... for Weirdo's.

I noticed that if you want to sell things, every item has to have a story. I got a guy to buy a leather "Flinstones" movie jacket because I said it once belonged to John Goodman. "Yaba Daba Sucka!"

Sorry ladies, no discounts on the Adult Toys.

Some customer's said they were at the garage sale getting gifts for their friends.
That blew my mind. I hope when they said "friends" they meant somebody they met in AA, cuz you would have to be drunk to want some of this stuff!  "Hey man, after you finish off that Yukon Jack, check out this sweet broken hula hoop I got you!"

A fixture at every garage sale, "Scene it!"

Garage sales have a lot of Die Hard customers, we even had a guy show up the night before we started, trying to get the jump on the other people.  He was lurking outside our house like the hitchhiker in "Texas Chainsaw", he was literally insane. I'm known for being too nice to people especially the mentally ill, so I was awkwardly polite. But I also live with a bunch of assholes who treated him like he was trying to hand deliver AIDS, as they ran him off the property.  But he got the last laugh by coming back the next day and buying a sweet leather jacket once worn by John Goodman.

"Sheldon" at IO West

Had a great time opening for the Improv group "Sheldon" at IO West this past Tuesday night.
 Rob Belushi and Jon Barinholtz make up the group and they kick ass.  They did hilarious Improv and crowd work and had the crowd rolling during a 45 minute set. If you get a chance to see them live, definitely check it out.  They probably have a facebook or twitter too. But let's not go overboard, this website is about me. (and Guns N Roses)

My camera was drunk when it took this picture.

Working the crowd, "Sheldon" style.
As opposed to "normal" style.

Rob, Jon, Me and Justin, who for some reason has his arm around an imaginary child

Countdown to ... Jizzmaster 2

The world premiere of "Jizzmaster 2" will be September 30th at the Hollywood Improv.
Here at Dillusional headquarters, we are counting down the days like kids waiting for Christmas.

"You made a sequel to this nonsense?"

HELL YEAH WE DID!

Mavrick Showcase August, 2012

It's time for another Mavrick Showcase!

Dirty thing of the day.

Sometimes comedians like to take wacky "candid" photos after a successful gig.  So that was the case last night at "Roxanne's" in Long Beach. One of the comics (myself) thought it would be cool to take a few photos by the pool table. Ya know, to spice things up!
  But what you will notice is that comedienne Erin Hoover decided to put the end of the dirty pool stick in her mouth like she was blowing some guy with a 5 foot dong!  The comedy never stops!

That pool stick has probably been used by every "Blood & Crypt" in Long Beach, and she's putting it in her mouth!  Hopefully she has built up a bacterial tolerance!
 She's mouthing that pool cue bareback!

The show was a great time, we perform at "Roxanne's" the 1st Sunday of every month at 8pm. Nobody ever comes.

Comedy Central Roast of Roseanne

This past weekend was the Comedy Central Roast of "Roseanne."  It took place at the Palladium theater in Hollywood. I went to it, but I couldn't take any good pictures. But basically I'm still going to write about it so I can brag that I went, and get a fake sense of superiority over you as you read this eating potato chips in your bed.

That's right!  I took a picture of the sign!

Our waiter took this picture in between smoke breaks.
I was hoping the attire would be Sweatpants and Crocs.

You guessed it,  Another sign!

I usually only get tickets on the windshield of my car!  (audience laughter)