Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Book Review: books by Brock Lesnar & Linda Hogan

During the Christmas break I had a chance to plow through some more books.   I actually finished reading both of these books within 48 hours. Brock Lesnar's "Death Clutch" and Linda Hogan's "Wrestling with the Hulk".
Here is my opinion on each of them.

Brock Lesnar's "Death Clutch".


I never knew much about Brock Lesnar.  I don't really watch UFC fighting and when he was in the WWE I was living in Chicago and not watching it that often. (Don't worry, I watch it every week now, in fact I have some killer Wrestlemania parties)  I had heard of Brock though from his dominance in the amateur wrestling world back in the late 90's.  The book was a new release at the library so I thought I'd check it out.
This book is a quick read. With Brock and Paul Heyman (a pro wrestling manager) being the authors, you don't have to worry about lame "over descriptive" sentences or the use of too many big words so the author can prove that he went to college.
My main interest was in finding out some new "behind the scenes" stories from the WWE. With all the backstabbing and politics involved in Pro Wrestling, most wrestlers autobiographies are great.  Brock covers his time in the WWE pretty well, his stories aren't too crazy but he seems to reiterate that life in the WWE is lucrative, but the financial reward may not be worth the pain on your body and mental anguish it involves.  One quote that stood out to me was that for Pro Wrestling you have to "Get in to Get out" which means, that you never want to become a "lifer" and be one of those worn out has-beens in the locker room.  Save your money, take care of your body, get plenty of sleep, don't party and get the hell out.  Brock admits to not taking a lot of his own advice, which let to his burnout and eventual shift to MMA fighting.  He does though, have a major persistence to be the best, which paid off because he was a NCAA, WWE and UFC champion. Another common theme in the book is that Brock always looks for a way to make a big score financially. He believes in taking care of his family first, which is good, but he brings it up a lot in the book and can come across as someone who is ruled by the dollar a little too much. I wouldn't be surprised if someday Brock offered his services out as a male prostitute. I know my roommate Steve would be excited about that.
Anyway's, it's worth reading, and won't take too long, so I recommend checking it out.

Linda Hogan "Wrestling with the Hulk"
Another quick read, this is Linda Hogan's side of the story when it comes to her divorce from wrestler, actor, "rent a center" spokesman, Hulk Hogan.  I've also read Hulk's book and was kind of curious to get her side of story.
Most autobiographies are very one-sided. The person will find way's to justify all sorts of behavior and tell their stories from their very warped point of view.  Not too often will the author be humble and try to be somewhat objective about their life.  (although Rob Lowe's book is the exception, he actually seems pretty cool)

The book is pretty fun, it has a lot of sex stories of all the places her and Hulk used to "do it". It follows her ride through the peek of "Hulkamania" and their reality show "Hogan Knows best".  There isn't too much behind the scenes WWE stories, the book mainly focuses on their relationship and Hulks cheating and financial scheming. In Hulk's book he accuses her of being "a partier" and drinking too much, in her book, she says she was just trying to have fun and Hulk was being controlling. She thought he was jealous that the spotlight wasn't always on him now that their VH1 reality show was a hit.  I'm sure they are both too blame.  They both love their kids very much and I'm sure they are both good people that just let the temptations of the world get the best of them. I see both of their points.
The book has a lot of advice for women who think their man is cheating. So you may want to read it if your dating the lead in "Two and a Half Men".
If your a fan of Linda's reality show personality, I'm sure she will be showing up on "Celebrity Apprentice" or another similar show soon.
Probably any show, except "Wife Swap."

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Monday Night Football - Niners vs Steelers "Blackout Game"

The Forty Niners are finally back in action this year.  I may have grown up in the Green Bay area, but I've always been a Niners fan since I jumped on the bandwagon in the late 80's.
Here are some photo's from the Monday Night Football game me and Nighthawk (Chris Wivell) went to this past week.  It was the infamous "Blackout Game" where the power went out twice.



(above)  On the train from downtown San Francisco to Candlestick Park.

(above) outside the MNF production truck. At first glance it may appear that Nighthawk had smeared shit all over himself but that is actually a Pittsburgh Steelers jersey.

(above) pre game warm ups.

(above) a view from the stands when the lights were out.

(above) the girl behind us took a picture of me and the Birdman, the Niners dominated, winning 20 to 3.



(above)  some shots of Candlestick Park as we were leaving the game.
*a special thanks to the chick at ESPN that got us the tickets!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Book Review "I Want My MTV"

I was at Barnes & Noble and noticed a new book called "I Want My MTV".  It came in 2 different covers, one with Madonna on the front and one with Nirvana.  After asking on of the employees if they had a special "Guns N Roses" version, (they didnt) I had to settle for the Nirvana one.  The book was like 34 bucks and at first I was hesitant to buy it.  I thought about just getting it at the library, but after reading through it in the store I had to own it. 

Thank God I bought it.  This book rules! What a trip down memory lane.  I couldn't put this sucker down.  It's got a ton of cool stories about Guns N Roses, Van Halen, Michael Jackson, Madonna, Springsteen, you name it.  It covers the rise and fall of the music video era, the transition of music videos to the controversial program design of today and has a ton of cool stories.   Any one born before 1985 will love this book.  Check it out.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

"My Week with Marilyn" - trailer song

I was watching the trailer and the movie seems pretty cool, but since I'm a whore for movie music, I wanted to find out the name of the song that kicks in around the 1:06 mark of the trailer.
I listened to the whole movie soundtrack and couldn't find it.  Some people think its the song "Requiem for a Dream" by Clint Mansell or the "300 Violin Orchestra", and that seems to be somewhat close. Or is it the song "So Cold" by Ben Cocks? (no relation to "Eat's Cocks")
I think "So Cold" is the closest one.  If anyone knows, email me! 
Below is the trailer and the "So Cold" song for you to compare.

"My Week with Marilyn" official trailer.


"So Cold" by Ben Cocks

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

"The Jizzmaster" The perfect stocking stuffer!

Give the gift of "The Jizzmaster" for the holidays.  If you email me at chrisgehrtcomedy@gmail.com  I will send you a very special "Full Load" dvd edition of "The Jizzmaster" for free! (includes, "Behind the Scenes", "Outtakes" "Trailers" "Interviews" and more.)

Just make sure to put your address in the email and how many copies you want.  I'll mail you the special edition dvd for you and your loved ones to enjoy at no charge.  

Spend your holidays with the Jizzmaster. "The gift that keeps on Jizzing!"

Friday, November 11, 2011

"The Jizzmaster" - official trailer

My new movie "The Jizzmaster" is coming out in select theaters this Sunday.  Here is the official trailer.

The world premiere is this Sunday, November 13th at the Hollywood Improv at 8pm.
Tickets are 5 bucks, so come on down!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

NFL Shop Song "All I really need is you"

If you watch NFL football on Sunday's there is a commercial for the "NFL Shop" that has a catchy tune playing, with the lyrics,  "All I really need is you".  It sounds like a Jimi Hendrix song or something from Kenny Wayne Shepherd, but the name of the song is  "All I really want is Football" by a band called "Black Iris".   The song is not available yet for a full length release.  But alot of people always ask about the it and there is nothing posted on the internet.   The song hopefully will be available soon.
Make sure to check out the other posts on this blog for Chris Gehrt stand up comedy videos, Guns N Roses and Friday the 13th info and other cool stuff!  also go to Funnyordie.com and see my new movie "The Jizzmaster".
 Here is the link ....
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8d7424822a/the-jizzmaster

Here is the commercial if your not familiar with it.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Friday, October 28, 2011

Happy Halloween - here is a "Friday the 13th" video for ya

To keep in the Halloween spirit, here is a tour of the barn from the movie "Friday the 13th part 3".  This has been up on you tube for a while, but I figured I'd put it up on the blog since I'm sure most of you aren't randomly searching for "filming locations of scary movies" on the internet!

Below is the video I took when I went back to the filming location with my brother. You may notice that the barn doors have been put on backwards. Numerous production companies use the barn for filming through the years, so pieces of the barn gets taken apart and reassembled all the time. 

GNR North American Tour promo video

In case you haven't heard, Guns N Roses is starting up a North American Tour, which kicks off this weekend in Miami.  Here is one of the promo videos for a show in Houston, Texas on November 4th.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

A picture from Duff's facebook page.

This book is awesome by the way!!

Steven Adler picture

Just wanted to share a picture of me with Guns N Roses drummer Steven Adler taken not too long ago at the "Whiskey A Go Go" on Sunset Blvd.

Steven is playing a special show this Halloween at the Wiltern Theater in Los Angeles.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Duff McKagan book signing

I spend most of my time talking about Guns N Roses, yet whenever I get the chance to meet a member of the band I get pretty nervous and suddenly don't have much to talk about. Duff is a great guy and was cool enough to hang a bit and get a picture with me.  Notice my left hand holding Duff's side like an awkward prom picture. As you can tell this pic was taken with my disposable camera!

*My date is in the background, a baby wookie from Craigs list.  Only 25 bucks for the day!

Monday, October 17, 2011

The Loons were out in Newport Beach

Whenever you do a show with a group of comics, there is always the awkward moment of trying to figure out who is going to host, along with the actual order of the comedians for the night.  ( the above picture demonstrates the look you usually get when you ask a comic "You want to go up first?")

We did a show in Newport Beach last night at the Tapas Restaurant and Nightclub, with a small but rowdy crowd that really enjoyed being part of the show. (drunk heckling) -  It was an wild bunch, including a group of 10 from Georgia (racists) , a woman in a tank top who flew in from Alaska (weirdo) and some guy who met his wife on Craig's list.  (not a bad option)  

The show was a complete free for all, with the comics doing nothing but crowd work the whole show and being forced to find ways to keep the prisoners in their cells.   It was actually an awesome time, and as the 2011 leg of the tour winds down it will definitely be one of the memorable shows.

*Special thanks to the students of UC Irvine who supported the show by not showing up!

  

Friday, October 14, 2011

Axl Rose at Rosario's airport in Argentina.

Axl and GNR are about to kick off their U.S. tour in late October.  While doing a few warm up shows in South America, some fans shot some footage of Axl having a "moment" with the security at the airport. Now before you jump to any conclusions about Axl's temper, make sure to read the explanation at the top of the youtube page. And besides, most people get frustrated when some loon can't take directions while making your sandwich at Subway, try dealing with idiots at 4am in Argentina.


Axl never beats around the bush. This guy has toured all over the world and has seen it all.  If I was in some 3rd world country (anywhere besides America) I wouldn't have the guts to tell security guards off and walk around like I own the place.  He definitely keeps the GNR spirit alive. One of the last real rock stars.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

An update on "The Jizzmaster"

My new short film "The Jizzmaster" will be coming out soon.  It is almost done editing.  The footage looks great.  Special thanks to our editor John Heeg and director/cinematographer Chris Westlund who always do a great job.   We are having a premiere for it on Sunday November 13th at the Hollywood Improv Lab (9:30pm).  I smell Oscar!

*Oscar is the homeless woman outside our office.

Duff McKagan book tour update

I'll have some pictures up from the Duff McKagan book signing at Barnes & Nobel in Santa Monica this past Sunday. (October 9th).   Duff was awesome,  he did about 45 minutes of Q & A, and signed books and took pictures with everyone.  He told a bunch of cool stories and is genuinely a very smart and well spoken guy. Make sure to check out the book in stores now!  

*side note - I still have video coming of the church from the November Rain video.  With football season starting up, I haven't had the time on Sunday's to roll over there and get some good footage. 

*Normally I would take this chance to brag about how well the 49ers are doing this year, but I don't want to jinx anything.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Fresno video from Tokyo Gardens - Sat Sept 17th

Most of Fresno is a shit hole. But it has cool people that always come out to our comedy shows.  When I do show's with the  "Convicts of Comedy" tour, we usually get to the town early to promote the show and check things out. We went to Fresno State, "Me and Ed's Pizza" and walked around the Tower District. Here is a short, weird, video of us doing that. 

*on a side note,  Sept 17th was the 20th anniversary of the release of Guns N Roses "Use Your Illusion I and II.  
I forgot to mention it on stage, (I'm sure the crowd was crushed)  But I did play both albums in my car on the drive to Fresno and back to L.A.  So at least my passengers got to enjoy it.  I know I did!


Next weekend we are in San Francisco at the Comedy Cellar.  Saturday, Sept 24th, 2011. If you want to find me after the show I will probably be sleeping in the street or in the van.  See ya then!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Bellvedere Lounge in Bakersfield

We had another great show this past Saturday at the "Bellvedere Lounge" in Bakersfield, CA.
Bakersfield has awesome crowds and we love going there to put on shows.  It was a wild mix of Bikers, Cowboys and Pool Hustlers that all came together to catch the "Convicts of Comedy show.
Special thanks to Sissy, Lyman and the rest of the gang, who always make us feel welcome.  It was great to see everyone and we will definitely be coming back!


If your in Bakersfield, CA stop by and visit "The Bellvedere"
3090 Brundage Lane
Bakersfield, CA 93304

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Duff McKagan's Book Tour this Fall

Duff McKagan's book "It's So Easy" (and other Lies)  comes out on October 4th.   Duff is doing a book tour and I figured I'd put the dates up because tons of "GNR" fans come to the site.

McKagan has scheduled the following book-signing events:

Tuesday, October 4th
Strand Book Store Event at 7 p.m.
828 Broadway
New York City, 10003


Wednesday, October 5th
Bookends Event at 7 p.m.
211 E. Ridgewood Ave.
Ridgewood, NJ 07450


Thursday, October 6th
Book Revue Event at 7 p.m.
313 New York Avenue
Huntington, NY 11743


Saturday, October 8th
Barnes & Noble Costa Mesa Event at 2 p.m.
901 B South Coast Drive
Costa Mesa, CA 92626


Sunday, October 9th    (I'll be going to this one)
Barnes & Noble Santa Monica Event at 2 p.m.
3rd St. Promenade, 1201 3rd St.
Santa Monica, CA 90401


Tuesday, October 11th  (and I'll be going to this one too!)
Book Soup Event at 7 p.m.
8818 Sunset Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA 90069


Sunday, October 16th
Mall of America Event at 2 p.m.
60 E. Broadway
Bloomington, MN 55425


Tuesday, October 18th
Powell's Books Event at 7:30 p.m.
1005 W. Burnside
Portland, OR 97209


Wednesday, October 19th
University Book Store Event at 7 p.m.
4326 University Way NE
Seattle, WA 98105


Thursday, October 20th
Third Place Books Event at 7 p.m.
17171 Bothell Way NE
Lake Forest Park, WA 98155


Friday, October 21st
Elliott Bay Book Company Event at 7 p.m.

Saturday, October 22nd
Warwicks Event at 6:30 p.m.
7812 Girard Avenue
La Jolla, CA 92037




Monday, August 8, 2011

"Chris Gehrt & Friends at the Improv Lab"

Once a month I run a great stand up comedy show at the Hollywood Improv Lab.  It's usually on a Saturday night, so if your in town and looking for something to do c'mon down!
It's at 8162 Melrose in Hollywood.    Our next show is on Tuesday, August 16th at 8pm. 

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

"Sweet Child of Mine" on Piano

Just wanted to showcase a musician named Vika that I watch alot on Youtube, because she does some killer rock n roll covers on her piano.  Check it out below, and check out her website at www.vkgoeswild.com

Thursday, August 4th "Comedy Showcase"

I better not blow this one!   I'm in a Comedy Showcase this Thursday, August 4th, 2011 at the Comedy Store on Sunset. It starts at 8pm and It's a free show, so if you want, come on down!


















Saturday, July 2, 2011

The Church from "November Rain".

In the next week I will be posting a new video of the church from the "November Rain" video.  Alot of Guns N Roses fans talk about the location of the church and its significance in the collection of killer Guns N Roses videos.   Very few people know what church it is and where to find it. I myself became very frustrated when trying to find out where it was.  I would search online for it, and nobody seemed to have any real answers.  And most people online seem to waste time arguing back and forth about the church in the desert that Slash does his guitar solo in front of. We all know that church is in New Mexico.  I'm talking about the one that Axl and Stephanie Seymour get married in.  After watching the video a thousand times, I managed to put the pieces together and figured out the location.  I will have a video tour of it up soon.  I posted a current picture above.

Monday, June 27, 2011

"Premise Punch Tag" website

A few weeks ago I got featured on comedian Joel Buxton's comedy website.  Joel runs a great website and has really good info for comedians of all levels.

Check it out here.

http://premisepunchtag.wordpress.com/2011/05/25/shout-outs-to-chris-gehrt/




Sunday, June 26, 2011

Convicts of Comedy Tour / Burbank & Phoenix

Our comedy tour had two more great shows this past week.  We had another sold out show in Burbank, at Flappers Comedy Club, then rolled into Glendale, AZ to do a show at "Chilly Bombers" on Bell Road.  Outside the club in AZ, we watched a girl with a bloody face do a "crunk dance" outside the club.  The blood was because another girl inside had smashed her in the face with a bottle and she wanted to prove to everyone that it "was no thang" and that she could keep dancing.  Police later escorted her to her car to make sure that nobody got shot.

Monday, June 13, 2011

June 13th, 2011 "Special Thanks to Fresno & Ventura"

Special thanks to the people in the City of Fresno and Ventura who came out to see our stand up comedy shows these last two weekends.  We had an awesome time in both places and we will definitely be coming back again soon.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

April 20th, 2011 Duff Mckagan's "Loaded" pics


 Duff McKagan
 Me and Duff outside the Viper Room.
 Duff and his band "Loaded" on stage.
AJ Celi and Duff's wife, Susan Holmes McKagan.

Monday, April 18, 2011

April 18th, 2011 Summer Tour

This Summer, me and some other comics are hitting the road for a comedy tour. With stops in Bakersfield, Fresno, San Diego, Sacramento, San Francisco, Phoenix and Las Vegas.  The shows will kick off at the "Tokyo Garden" in Fresno on Saturday, June 4th. It should be a great time, we got some special guests coming with us and I'm looking forward checking out some new cities.

Adam Feurberg
Chris Gehrt
Chris Wivell
Cruz Kim
Dimo
Stephen Jackson
Tim Delone

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

April 12th, 2011 "The Viper Room"

I just got some tickets for Duff McKagan's band "Loaded", who are playing at the Viper Room on April 19th.  This will be my first time seeing Duff perform live, so I'm looking forward to it.  My quest to meet all 5 original member of GNR continues!

Axl: saw GNR in 2006 - never met - puts on an awesome show no matter who is in GNR at the time.
Slash: seen in concert couple times, took many pictures from afar, never met, great show
Duff: finally seeing in concert April 19th
Izzy: very elusive, never seen or met
Steven: seen in concert couple times, great show, met and got a picture with, really cool and nice guy.

I may be biased, but anytime I've seen any of these guys in concert no matter what the circumstances it has always been an awesome show.  These songs never get old! Unless your my roommates, then you tend to get pretty sick of them.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

April 7th, 2011 - Wrestlemania Party

Just want to say thanks to everyone that came to our "Wrestlemania Party" this past weekend. It was an awesome time.  Thanks for coming!  Hopefully everyone can make it back for next year.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

March 30th, 2011, Baseball Season and Seat Swapping

The 2011 MLB Baseball season starts tomorrow and it will be nice to get another World Series ring for the Chicago White Sox.  Every year I try to get down to Anaheim at least once to see the White Sox play the Angels and its even better in the rare occasion when they come to L.A. to play the Dodgers.  Check out this video from the historic 2005 White Sox Championship season.

I like seeing live events. Sports, Concerts, Pro-wrestling, etc.  I usually buy the cheapest ticket possible and then I "sneak up" to a better seat once the game starts.  This can usually be done pretty easily when your with your "guy friends", but girlfriends hate it.  Sneaking up to a better seat takes a relaxed skill that you have to do with confidence.  Girlfriends seem to think its like robbing a bank.

  I'll admit, it can be a little nerve racking when you get caught,  Like when your sitting in the wrong seat and you see the rightful owner come prancing down the stairs, he stops and finds his row, counts the seats and double checks his ticket. (most people hate confrontation and this can be used to your advantage) You can see them contemplating saying something to you. But eventually they will usually strum up the balls to come over and say "These are our seats"

This is where it gets awkward, when being confronted, you have 2 choices.  You can either apologize profusely and swear it was an accident. "What? "These aren't the Lawn seats" "I'm sorry" "I thought they seemed a little close" or you can choose my personal favorite ... to slowly get up and "stare down the family" making them feel like they made a mistake and its their fault for wanting to sit in their expensive seats that they paid for. Make them feel like they are the ones that are wrong. (this never works by the way! I'm not very intimidating, I usually will trip, or spill a drink while doing this)   Usually, the rest of the crowd will think your a real idiot and they will turn into an angry mob against you like Frankenstein.  You become the leper of the ballpark! But don't worry, you can move, there are usually plenty of other open seats around that are not yours. Nobody would ever think that you would do it twice right? Also, your girlfriend will love dealing with this!

Keep in mind that this will usually also backfire on Airplanes.

See you at the ballpark! 

Sunday, March 20, 2011

March 18th-20th The Weekend of Rock! GNR tribute band, Sammy Hagar & more.

It's no secret that I love 80's hair bands rock n roll. Especially Guns N Roses.  I spend most of the day day dreaming about them and have even managed to incorporate them into my extreme OCD. (If I don't look at my GNR albums and Axl picture before I leave the house I will have a bad day).  So I was super excited when I noticed that GNR tribute band "Hollywood Rose" was playing at the "Whiskey A Go-Go" on Sunset this past Saturday night.

I started out the night at the Spotlight Comedy club, performing for about 22 people. (5 were Russian) After the show I slipped through Laurel Canyon to meet a friend at the Rainbow Room. Heading west down Sunset is when I saw "The Whiskey's" marquee had "Hollywood Rose" on it.  It's Party time!

Since my cheap ass wont pay for parking, I usually park for free on south Doheny almost a good mile away from the Rainbow Room.  Its about a 10 minute walk uphill but its worth it to not have to pay 3 bucks at a meter, or worse, 5 bucks to valet. (impressed ladies?)

The Rainbow Room is packed on Saturday nights, and my friend Gary was there waiting. Gary played "Eddie" in the movie "Jaws 2" and he wont let you forget it.  Ever. He has "Jaws 2" tourets syndrome, which is hilarious to me, who grew up on that movie, but not so amusing to the waitress's who are slammed and trying to figure out what he means when he orders the "shark pizza", luckily I am there to translate and can make up the difference when he leaves a "70's style" tip.  He hasn't accounted for inflation in 30's years.

After dinner it was time to check out some "Hollywood Rose", I walked down to the "Whiskey" and put my left over "Shark Pizza" in the garbage. 10 bucks to get in!  I loved it.  Money is no option when it comes to hearing some "Guns" tunes. I was amped! (I just noticed that I seem to blog like a teenage girl)

"Hollywood Rose" was a great time, they kicked off the show with some "GNR" tunes that are not known to the "casual fan". ("Right next door to hell" "Back off Bitch") But the crowd got heated up for the classic 3 ("Jungle, "Sweet Child" & "Paradise City") There was one rough and tumble English dude who obviously saw "Green Street Hooligans" too many times and wanted start moshing.  Luckily most Americans in the club hated him and ignored his dumb ass. (he was also barefoot, yes, he was a true idiot)   I also noticed a girl who was perched upstairs with a perfect view of the show, who chose to spend the whole show "texting". I would have chucked a bottle at her head but I'm a gentleman.

As for the band, "Fake Axl" was awesome, he had the moves down, his voice sounded great, and he even did the usual Axl costume changes. (although he did them on the side of the stage in full view of the audience). His "Axl Pose" gut glistened under the stagelights. But he did it all with confidence, which is a key part of being a stand out performer. "Fake Slash" sounded great, and even had the same leg moves that Slash rocked out in "GNR live in Paris '93".  I'll see them again anytime.   The show ended and I headed back out into the "November Rain" for my long walk back to my car parked on Doheny.  (it's technically "March Rain", but it didn't have the same ring to it)

I had to get to bed, because Sunday I had a date with the "Red Rocker" Sammy Hagar.

Sammy Hagar was doing a book signing at "Book Soup" on Sunset at 5pm.  In high school I was a huge Van Halen fan and they are still my 2nd favorite behind GNR.  It was pouring rain all weekend in L.A.  I caught an early morning show of "Limitless" at the AMC Century City and then spent a good hour in the "Borders" book store that was going out of business. That pisses me off, another book store closing.  The continuously changing electronic media world can fuck off. I refuse to switch over to blue-ray until at least 2016. Remember around 2002, when Steve Jobs and the Apple corporation used to bitch about Microsoft being a "monopoly?" And the only time you would ever see an "Apple" computer was when they would be shamelessly promoted in teen horror movies, where a young girl who was about to be the next victim could be seen instant messaging her online friend on her bright orange gaudy IMAC computer with a "see though" CPU.  Its now 2011 and they are still the kings of product placement. See the movie "I am Number Four" and you cant go 10 minutes without the lead character checking his I-phone.  (Which I'm sure is what the books author originally wrote)

At the AMC theater, when you buy your movie ticket, you pick out your seat ahead of time, which I hate.  I never sit in the chair I picked, and its always embarrasing when somebody comes up and awkwardly stands over me saying "Your in my seat."   I usually apologize with my mouth, but my eyes tell them to "Fuck off" as I stumble around in the dark trying to find another spot.  (this also happens to me at Sporting Events, Concerts, or any other place that requires assigned seating) (again ladies, I'm sure your impressed!)

Anyways, I liked the movie "Limitless" and thought Bradley Cooper did a great job.  After the movie and walking around the mall, We headed to "Book Soup" to see Sammy Hager who was signing copies of his new book "RED". 

I had read excerpts from Sammy's book in "Rolling Stone" and was immediately hooked. He was dishing alot of dirt on Eddie Van Halen and I couldn't wait to get my paws on it.  We pulled up to "Book Soup" and the line wasn't too bad, we were an hour and a half early, but it was pouring rain and freezing cold outside.   When 5 o'clock came, the line moved quickly and suddenly our grand moment was about to happen.  I spent sometime trying to think of a "clever" question to ask Sammy when I met him to make myself stand out from the crowd. Although I think I already stood out from the pack because most of the people in the line were mutants. You would have thought it was a line for a "Star Trek" convention or a "VD clinic".  Where were all the groupies? Maybe they melt in the rain.

Sammy signed my book, commented on my Chicago White Sox hat and slapped me a high five.  He seemed like a great guy, but the "Book Soup" employees spend so much time up your ass making the line move along that the whole "meet & greet" experience is over before you know it.  But I'm glad he wrote the book and took the time to meet some fans.  No matter what your opinion is about who should sing for Van Halen, you cant deny that Sammy Hagar always delivers.  It was worth the wait.

I am now sitting on my couch with the usual cast of loons, re-watching the Comedy Central "Roast of Donald Trump" "Give it up for Greg Giraldo" (it was fucking awesome) and "WWE Smackdown".  It's been a great weekend!


Please check out the Comedy Central memorial show "Give it up for Greg Giraldo." It was really well done and is a great tribute to the late comedian Greg Giraldo. 

Friday, March 11, 2011

March 11th, 2011 , Comedy Websites, Battle of Tsunami

I like to hang out on the stand up comedy websites, checking up on comedy news, gossip etc. (similiar to a girl hanging out on perezhilton.com, only people dont draw fake jizz on the comics faces, although, it would be funny to see Gallagher with a sperm mustache)
 
Here are some kick ass comedy websites that are entertaining and helpful to all levels of comics.

www.thecomicscomic.com
www.punchlinemagazine.com
www.sandpapersuit.com
www.aspecialthing.com
www.thecomedynerds.com
www.premisepunchtag.wordpress.com

Write these websites down, that way when I see you in person it can be one less thing I have to talk to you about.

TSUNAMI TIME!
Last night around midnight, I sat at the Denny's near my house, watching my cell phone blow up with texts about the earthquake in Japan, people warning me about an impending Tsunami that was heading towards myself in Santa Monica, and my roommate who was vacationing in Hawaii. (transgender operation, see his blog for updates)

I didn't reply back to a single text.  Did I want to be over-dramatic and have people think that I had already drowned in Dennys new "2, 4, 6" menu?   (see dennys.com for details)

No,  You see I just recently changed my cell phone plan to the cheapest one possible, which means I get about 10 free texts a month. SO DON'T TEXT ME!  
I don't care if my car is on fire, it can wait till the next billing cycle.

In related news, the movie "Battle: Los Angeles" comes out today, and I hear its pretty good, hopefully the aliens destruction opens up a few parking spots on Ocean Blvd.



 

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

March 9th, 2011

So this will be my first official "blog post", and since I am one of those tools that always thought I was too cool to be doing stuff like this I'm going to make the first blog officially short and not entertaining. As of right now, I don't have anything that is really pissing me off, so I have nothing to bitch about.   Wrestlemania 27 is coming up in April (wait where are you going?,... dont stop reading!) so I'm excited about that.  I got to attend Wrestlemania 26 last year, and it was awesome, but I actually like watching it on tv better. (as long as the people I'm with keep their fricken mouths shut) Which actually makes me think of ......

Why is it whenever the subject of pro-wrestling comes up, people always say stuff like "Ohh I remember that WWF stuff, I used to watch "Roddy Piper, Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior and that guy Brutus who always cut peoples hair".  And I sit there thinking,  "Who the hell cares what you used to watch".  It's like "Yeah, everyone used to watch it", you either watched it in the "Golden Era",  (Hulk Hogan, Roddy Piper, 80's style ) etc or you watched it during the "Attitude Era", (Stone Cold, The Rock, late 90's style),  but unless you watched it the whole time, and are CURRENTLY watching it, don't bore me with the stories of your older brother putting you in a "boston crab" in 1986.

Anyways, Wrestlemania is April 3rd, if you want, you can come to my house and watch it. As long as you are quiet and enjoy sitting near people who were in the movie "Jaws 2".